he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
