Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
