so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
