Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Randomize
