if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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