She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
