I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
