I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
