Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
You just made me feel so damn special
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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