i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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