Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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