so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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