It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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