I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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