my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
