i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
