You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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