And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
