I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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