I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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