every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I FOUND THE LEGS
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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