matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
