Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
