sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
