you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
