My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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