update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I stole a fireplace last night.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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