i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
love makes seman taste better
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
