I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize