Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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