So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
