yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
