If that was your dad, he is hot
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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