Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
sarcasm needs its own font
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize