She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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