yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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