And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I wish they made helmets for livers.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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