i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
