wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
