R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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