i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
