There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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