I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
