After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
