This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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