We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
