So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
