Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
