the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Shame - the story of my life.
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