Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
