the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
