He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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