the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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