you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
