what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
