id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
