Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
it glows. i had to have it.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
