he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
