Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize