There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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