Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
