Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
