I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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