those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
