I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
so much tequila, so little girl.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Randomize
