I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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