You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
