He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
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